Psychological Counselor Ekrem Çağrı Öztürk provided information on the subject. It can be challenging to encounter people who constantly criticize in our lives. Sometimes these people express their inner restlessness or dissatisfaction while questioning those around them. Although criticism often seems like an opportunity for us to see the shortcomings in our environment, when it becomes constant, it can actually be a sign of a much deeper problem.
Trying to understand people who constantly criticize actually means taking a step towards knowing them better and understanding the emotional state they are in. The basis of criticism is not only judging others, but sometimes it can be an action taken to cope with one's own inner world. This is a situation that walks a fine line between seeing the mistakes of others and wanting to escape one's own shortcomings.
Reasons Behind Criticism
Criticism often appears as someone sharing their thoughts about others out loud. But in fact, sometimes the real reason behind the critic is to fill an emotional void. A person with low self-esteem may try to feel better about themselves by criticizing others. They may use seeing the mistakes or shortcomings of those around them as a tool to feel valuable. For example, a friend of yours frequently criticizes others’ work and emphasizes their shortcomings at every opportunity. At first glance, this person may seem to be simply making an “honest” comment. However, when you look a little closer, you may realize that this person is actually reflecting the dissatisfactions they experience in their own life, perhaps in their work or relationships. These criticisms may indicate that something is missing in the person’s inner world and that they are judging others to fill this void.
Empathy and Criticism: Emotional Awareness
Seeing someone’s mistakes can naturally be a reaction. But criticism shouldn’t just be about pointing out mistakes. True empathy is trying to understand the other person’s situation without judging them. When we criticize someone, we should take their life and what they’ve experienced into consideration.
For example, let’s say a very close friend of yours makes the same mistake over and over again. If you constantly criticize him, you may be hurting him even more. But when you start listening to him, trying to understand him, and taking his emotional state into consideration, you can both understand him better and convey your criticisms in a constructive way. For example, an approach like, “I sense that you are having a hard time with this. Maybe trying a different approach will help you feel more comfortable,” increases trust in the relationship by offering a solution along with the criticism.
The power of criticism lies in making the other person feel that you value them and want them to improve. Instead of saying, “That’s not how it’s done,” saying, “I wonder how you would feel if you did it differently,” can make the criticism more constructive and understanding.
Making Criticism Constructive: The Key to Strong Communication
Psychological Counselor Ekrem Çağrı Öztürk said, “Criticism, when done correctly, is a tool that develops and strengthens people. But for criticism to be constructive, the intention must be correct. The aim of criticism should be to make the other person a better person and to help them learn from their mistakes. Criticism should not be a tool to change a person, but a guide that will help that person think in a healthier way.”
