This Sentence Is A Sign Of Hidden Manipulation In Relationships!

Close up of young couple fighting sitting on sofa

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi provided important information on the subject. When it comes to relationships, one of the most magical but also most dangerous sentences for someone who feels insecure deep down is: “I don’t trust you, I don’t trust your environment!” This statement, which seems innocent in a way, is actually a reflection of both manipulation and insecurity. Because in reality, the distrust of the other party’s environment indirectly includes doubts about the partner’s decision-making skills and stance in the relationship.

However, this sentence does not only mean “I don’t like your environment”; it also reveals a lack of faith in being chosen in the relationship, in the partner’s choice, and even in one’s own value. The person indirectly expresses the message, “You chose this relationship, but I don’t actually trust your choice, nor do I trust myself.” This inner turmoil and lack of self-confidence trigger the need for control. These people may cling tightly to the idea that “I can only stay safe by manipulating or controlling the relationship.”

So much so that the insecurity in question forces the person to think:

• “Maybe my partner will find someone better than me.”
• “I am not satisfied with the fact that he actually chose me; what if he suddenly decides to give up?”
• “I feel worthless; I wonder if his environment or other people will affect him?”

However, the person in front of you may have chosen you with all their heart and may only want to have a relationship with you. However, the words "I don't trust you, I don't trust your environment" cast a shadow over this choice and unknowingly forces the partner to defend themselves. Desire for Control in Relationships: The Root of Manipulation

The need for control is often fueled by negative experiences in the past. For example, someone who has been betrayed, abandoned, or made to feel worthless may think, “If I control everything, I won’t experience the same pain” in the next relationship. However, as the desire for control increases, the naturalness and sense of freedom of the relationship decreases, and this replaces the feeling of love and commitment with anxiety, pressure, and insecurity.

Another aspect of manipulation is this: Since the person does not consider himself/herself worthy of being “chosen” in his/her own self-perception, he/she constantly approaches the partner’s free will and environment with suspicion. According to him/her, the partner “really” has not made his/her decision or “can find a better one at any moment.” This thought leads to an effort to constantly monitor all the partner’s actions. As a result, the sentence “I Don’t Trust You, I Don’t Trust Your Environment” creates deep effects in the relationship. First of all, the partner’s feeling that his/her “chosen” feeling is not appreciated damages his/her self-worth and leads to an erosion of self-confidence. Blaming and controlling attitudes cause a closure in communication; the parties hesitate to share their feelings and thoughts freely. As a result, the relationship is dragged into an increasing emotional fatigue for both the person trying to control and the person being controlled. Living a Relationship Courageously

The sentence, “I don’t trust you, I don’t trust your surroundings,” means, in a sense, that we don’t believe in the other person’s competence or our own value. This perspective turns the relationship into a weak link that is ready to break at any moment. However, love is born from mutual trust and sincere sharing.

Every relationship in life carries both risk and love. Control, which is applied to reduce risk to zero, actually limits the partner and also diminishes the person's self-confidence. Therefore, remembering that we are worthy of trust and love, not carrying the pain of the past into the present, and respecting the preferences of the person we love opens the door to a real and fulfilling relationship.

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi said, "Remember: Trust yourself first, and then trust that your partner has chosen you knowingly and willingly. When you embrace life bravely instead of fear and control, you allow the relationship to preserve its original texture and have the opportunity to grow together."