Fear of Abandonment Can Be a Reason for Abandonment!

Fear of Abandonment Can Be a Reason for Abandonment!
Fear of Abandonment Can Be a Reason for Abandonment!

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi gave important information on the subject. Romantic relationships are at the center of many human emotions and psychological dynamics. These relationships represent an area where the individual's meanings, expectations and desires about himself, the other and therefore his environment are intense. While the psychological mechanics of love allow the individual to confront the riches and fragilities of his or her inner world, the deep bond established with another self also opens space for a number of internal and external conflicts, happiness and disappointments.

An individual's position in a romantic relationship is closely related to how that individual perceives himself, how he sees the other, and his expectations about the relationship. Psychologically, this process involves the individual's efforts to know, understand, and accept himself and the other.

At every stage of our lives, our relationships and the dynamics in these relationships are factors that deeply affect us. Fear of abandonment and ways to cope with this fear can be a challenging part of daily life for many individuals. Especially for individuals with an avoidant attachment style, abandonment schema and separation anxiety play a dominant role in their relationships.

Abandonment schema is a belief system that an individual will be rejected by others, abandoned, and therefore left alone. Avoidant attachment style is an attachment style in which the individual avoids emotional closeness, builds walls in relationships, and avoids establishing deep emotional bonds. Rather than confronting the fear of abandonment, the individual often ends the relationship as a preventive strategy. In fact, although these people seem like a Casanova; They are simply trying to protect themselves by avoiding responsibility for the pain of love or relationships. This in itself is a defense mechanism – to prevent abandonment, maintain control and therefore minimize pain. Making connections is scary for him. This person has witnessed the pain of bonding since childhood or at some point in his life, or there is a problem somewhere in the past where he could not establish a healthy relationship with his parents. He can't take responsibility, a crisis scares him, a person who is afraid of having his heart broken quickly walks away, perhaps breaking even if he doesn't want to. Especially if the other person has an anxious attachment style, which is another type of insecure attachment. The avoidant individual keeps his guard up with the pain of avoiding the responsibility of relationship that the anxious individual imposes on him with his love, excessive interest and devotion. So much so that, instead of deepening the relationship, the individual raises his walls even higher in the face of problems and activates avoidance mechanisms. The individual may end the relationship to avoid situations that he or she sees as emotionally risky because, in his or her opinion, this minimizes potential pain.

Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi said, “The actions exhibited by avoidantly attached individuals generally arise from their past experiences, learned behaviors and possible traumas. Understanding relationship patterns and attachment styles and developing awareness about this issue can help them establish healthier and more balanced relationships. By examining one's past, becoming aware of one's own avoidant behaviors, one can focus on developing one's relationships with patience, respect and openness of communication instead of running away. Rather than throwing the burden on the past, the individual decides to continue his life as today's adult with a healthy attachment style and discovers healthy attachment from a new perspective with expert support. "They can continue their relationships with healthy bonds." said.