Specialist Clinical Psychologist Müjde Yahşi gave important information about the subject. Fear is an alarm system that protects us from danger and ensures our survival. The amygdala, which is the center of fear in our brain, creates a "fight or flight" response with the signal it sends to our body and protects us from possible threats.
For example; When you see someone fast approaching you with a cutting tool in your hand, the emotion you will feel at that moment will be fear, and the reaction you will give will be to get away from the environment or to struggle with that person.
Have you ever thought how such a necessary and vital emotion can turn into phobias and intense anxieties?
For example, how can some people be so afraid of the spider, while others can take it without hesitation? Or, how do some people constantly experience the fear of an earthquake, while others easily return to their daily lives?
The answer to these questions is; It is hidden that the person who is afraid feels insecurity with him. In other words, if we lack our basic feeling of trust, we also experience fear.
For example; Being alone, in an unfamiliar environment, or being separated from its mother makes the baby feel insecure. The baby, who does not feel safe, is afraid. He may show his fear by crying, getting angry, or denying his need for nourishment.
Fear is an emotion that we are born with and reinforce by experience or learning.
For example; Falling from a height and a sudden loud noise are all innate fears, while a snake is a learned fear for most of us.
A child between the ages of 2-4 has a periodic feature called animism. In other words, children in this age period, who cannot distinguish between living and non-living things, may not feel fear by evaluating a living object as inanimate or an inanimate object as living.
For example; For a child between these ages, a dangerous spider may be perceived as an innocent toy. However, if the child is bitten by the spider or if the fear about the spider is transmitted by the environment, the child develops a sense of fear towards the spider.
Anxious sentences used to children activate the feeling of fear in children and leave the alarm system of the fear center open. That is, where he should not feel fear, the child is constantly afraid and experiences intense anxiety. This fear of the child is not a healthy fear.
If you don't wash your hands, you'll get infected, if you don't eat your food, you won't grow, if you don't obey, God will burn you, if you cry, the police will take you, if you misbehave, the doctor will give you an injection, if you don't keep quiet, I'll leave you here, if you let go of my hand, thieves will kidnap you, don't approach the dog, which causes intense anxiety to your child as if it bites you, contains abstract content. and words that reinforce fear can cause phobias and anxiety disorders in the child.
Children before the age of 12 are concrete thinkers. Concepts with abstract features have ambiguous meanings for these children. That is, they cannot make sense of abstract concepts. Therefore, thoughts caused by uncertainty scare children. In other words, religious concepts, death, divorce or fantastic subjects are quite challenging for children's cognitive perceptions.
For example, if you tell a 5-year-old child that if we do good deeds, we will go to heaven, if we sin, we will burn in hell, the angels wandering around or the devil chasing evil, the child may develop some anxieties such as not being able to stay alone, not being able to sleep alone, fear of the dark, and the thought of imaginary existence.
In order to overcome his fear; forcing a child who is afraid of being alone to leave the room alone, saying "what is there to be afraid of" to a child who is afraid of the dark and leaving the child in the dark by underestimating his fear, putting the child who is afraid of ants in contact with the ant unknowingly causes these fears in the child to increase, spread to other fears, turn into phobias or anxiety disorders. it could be.
The child, who is only afraid of the dark at first, may become afraid to go to the toilet alone with these harmful attitudes of the parents.
There are also fears arising from the protective attitude of the parent, that is, the feeling of inadequacy. It is usually seen in cases where families with only one child or a child at a very late age harm the development of social skills in the child by overprotecting their child. These children may experience intense fear of failure due to the insecurity of inadequacy. He may also experience fear of loneliness because he believes that he cannot achieve it alone. These fears, which are anxiety-based, can lead to the development of other fears.
Another important issue that causes fear is the exposure of children to images containing violence and fear and abstract content. If the games played by the child and the cartoons he watches are not suitable for the development and age of the child, many types of fear, especially night fears, may develop in the child.
Fear is as necessary and vital as our other emotions. It is our wrong attitudes and our anxieties that turn the fear in the child into an unhealthy emotion.
If you don't want your child to have unfounded fears and phobias, you can prevent their fears by giving them the confidence they need first.
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