It should not be forgotten that the exam period is also a development period in which students are involved. Especially in this period, authoritarian, strict and oppressive parental attitudes play an obstructive role in the learning process of students. Istanbul Okan University Hospital Clinical Psychology Specialist Psk. Müge Leblebicioğlu Arslan gave important information about the exam process.
In order to ensure that students are ready for the exam process, they must be able to learn fully. The reason why I use the concept of "learning completely" here is that the learning process is not a process that covers only thoughts and behaviors such as "taking private lessons, doing homework, taking tests, repeating lessons". Meeting the emotional needs of students who are in the developmental growth period plays a decisive role in the learning process.
The biggest mistake in communication: speaking of notes!
During this period, parents can focus on what they should or should not do in their communication with their children, such as whether they study for their studies, how many points they get in the exams, study instead of going out, or not playing with their phone. While this situation prioritizes the behavior of their children in communication; he/she may keep the communication that covers his/her feelings, thoughts about the future, anxieties and fears or the expression of feelings about his/her depression in the background.
In this period, it is very important to realize the emotional needs of students such as being noticed, supported, accepted, felt valuable, safe, respected, and making room for pleasure, both in terms of their readiness for the exam process and the psycho-social development of the young person.
The fact that the family has accurate and sufficient information about the adolescence period makes the adolescent feel understandable and safe. During this period, conflicts with the family begin on many issues. Although these conflicts are interpreted negatively, they contribute to the individual's independence. However, how the family manages these conflicts plays an important role in the adolescence process.
It is very important to take on the role of a supportive parent, not a directing one.
Exam preparation can become an important problem for the individual, especially during the youth period, when their interest increases and rapid growth and development takes place. Therefore, students may turn to different interests outside the classroom or may have difficulty concentrating on the lessons.
During this developmental period of students who are preparing for the exam period, changes may occur in their self-esteem levels. Their self-esteem may be unrealistically low or high. This situation may push the young person to have unrealistic thoughts about the exam process. On the one hand, the young person's effort for autonomy increases and he tries to make independent decisions about his own life.
10 important points that parents should pay attention to, especially with the approach of the exam process;
Encourage students to create the necessary conditions for adequate preparation for the exam. For example, allow her to prepare an environment where she can work comfortably, such as a balanced diet and sleep, a quiet study environment, enough books and a tutor.
Be in the role of an informative and supportive parent, rather than a guiding and preferring parent in choosing a career. In the elections, the measure should be the young person, not the parent.
Emphasize the youth's effort rather than success and failure, away from perfectionist expectations.
Set flexible and alternative goals together in addition to the current goal.
Stay away from success-indexed language such as "If you win, I will take it" "If you pass the exam, you can go"! When your child comes out of the exam, focus on his feelings by asking questions like "How are you?" instead of "How was your exam?"
Although the characteristics of adolescence period show similar characteristics, the story of each adolescent is unique. Therefore, instead of comparing it with others, evaluate the adolescent in terms of uniqueness, that is, in terms of his/her current potential.
It is normal for negative feelings such as stress and anxiety to accompany the young person in this process. The important thing is not to eliminate the stress completely, but to live it with an intensity that will not impair its functionality. All these attitudes and behaviors help the young person to reduce both the stress caused by the developmental process and the stress created by the exam period.
Observe the individual's feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
If you notice that your child is in an intense emotional state that he or she has difficulty in coping with, or if he/she expresses itself, if the intensity of the emotion is gradually increasing and this situation has begun to affect the youth's functionality negatively, seek support from a specialist psychotherapist.
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