Specialist Clinical Psychologist Müjde Yahşi gave important information about the subject. Three concepts affect the adolescence period the most. The first concept is that the adolescent brain does not work like an adult brain. Adolescence is a period in which psychological fluctuations are seen in the child and hormones are more active. In this period, the emotional system of the brain is more functional than the thought system. In other words, an adolescent cannot think first and then act like an adult, on the contrary; First, he takes action at the command of his emotions, and then he begins to think. This period covers about 3 to 10 years of age. Especially children between the ages of 22 and 13 cannot properly evaluate the consequences of their actions. This is because adolescents' forebrains have not yet completed their development.
The most important feature that makes a human human is that the forebrain is extremely developed. Because the forebrain; It is the area where skills such as thinking, planning, attention and decision making are managed. Since this area is not sufficiently developed in adolescents, they often cannot think clearly and make correct decisions. They act with the field in which emotions are managed. Therefore, this period appears as the period in which adolescents have the most conflict with their families.
Two other important concepts affecting the adolescence period; the formation of a sense of identity and belonging. The formation of a sense of identity actually starts from birth, but comes to the fore during adolescence. In other words, who am I, what am I, where should I go. He struggles with himself by looking for answers to questions such as what I want to be, why I was born, which profession should I choose.
The sense of belonging is formed by meeting the sense of trust. If the child accepts the belief that the family environment is safe from birth, he/she feels that he/she belongs to the family and this feeling in the child until adolescence: "I am a valuable person, my needs for my life are met with love unconditionally, so I can grow up healthy with my family." It develops an unconscious belief in the form of A sense of belonging comes after our physical needs and our need for security. If the child has not been able to adequately meet his need for trust from his parents, he feels the need for a sense of belonging in adolescence and seeks to be owned and owned. That is, when the adolescent cannot feel himself belonging to his family; may make unwanted friendships, become a member of some illegal groups, get involved in gangs, connect with people with negative traits that they follow on the internet, emulate and try to resemble them.
It should also be known that if a child has experienced traumas during childhood, which is the most productive and calm period, and has been brought up with wrong attitudes; Adolescents are more likely to experience mental problems such as depression, anorexia nervosa, bulmia nervosa, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, anxiety disorders, or psychotic disorders.
In order to establish a healthy communication with the adolescent child, the families should consider the following suggestions;
Adolescents enjoy spending time with friends or being alone in their room more than their parents. He should be given the opportunity to get to know himself and socialize a little.
There are sexual roles, religious and philosophical issues that confuse the adolescent boy. The adolescent boy said, “I wonder if I am gay, what is God, is there an afterlife? You can search for answers to questions such as ”. If parents feel such a situation, they should protect the adolescent from making wrong decisions with his tolerant style as a guide.
Parents should respect the adolescent's privacy as the adolescent's sexual urges and interest in the opposite sex begin. If parents want the teenage boy to share something about his private life, for example, "You know, when I was your age, I first started liking someone and it made me feel weird, have you ever felt that weird?" Like, you should approach him empathetically without scaring him.
Parents; It should not be forgotten that an adolescent child who is not given enough attention and love in childhood, who is made to feel worthless and inadequate by being shouted and called, that is, whose sense of belonging is damaged, may turn to more substance use, technological addiction and risky pursuits.
Even if a parent doesn't like it, they can strengthen the bond with the adolescent child by getting involved in activities that the teenager likes. For example, even if the parent does not like to go to the cinema, going to the cinema with their adolescent child or even if the parent does not like to play basketball, the adolescent child should be able to create a common interest by playing basketball together.
Parents; The adolescent child, who seems to be against and against everything, should know that the desire for individualization lies behind these reactions. Instead of conflicting with the adolescent child, who now feels more strongly that he is an individual, he should remember that he is an individual who is preparing for adulthood.
Criticisms such as what kind of child are you and you are not a man should be avoided, on the contrary, the adolescent should be greatly appreciated and made to feel that his views are valuable.
In order for the parent to be effective on the adolescent child, he/she must apply the authority where love and discipline are balanced together.
Parents who can take these few suggestions into account and put them into practice should not forget that adolescence is a period like other developmental periods and should be able to approach adolescents with tolerance. Because with this approach, the parent; They can both prevent conflicts with the adolescent and play a role in the adolescent's ability to make the right decisions.