If the Child Doesn't Get the Food of Love and Trust, He Grows Up in Trauma

If the Child Doesn't Get the Food of Love and Trust, He Grows Up in Trauma
If the Child Doesn't Get the Food of Love and Trust, He Grows Up in Trauma
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Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that the brain development of babies and children who have been subjected to violence by their families is adversely affected. The news of violence against children from many cities in recent days has caused public outrage. Especially the news of babies and children who have been subjected to violence by their parents received reactions from all walks of life. Stating that there are 5 types of domestic violence, namely physical violence, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and emotional neglect, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that two important foods in the spiritual development of the child are love and trust. Noting that the child who cannot receive love and trust will grow up in trauma, Tarhan added that treatment is more important than punishment in the fight against domestic violence. Tarhan also drew attention to the effect of group stress on violence.

There are 5 types of domestic violence

Stating that the type of violence, including violence against children, is referred to as "domestic violence" in the literature, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Domestic violence can be against women as well as unprotected and vulnerable children and children in early childhood. We mental health professionals look at the Childhood Trauma Scale in every case. Five types of violence are mentioned here: physical violence, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and emotional neglect.” said.

Child is left without love in emotional neglect

Noting that physical abuse can be in the form of starving, imprisoning in the room, but also intimidating and threatening, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “It is physical abuse to lock the child in the room, to scare him that I will burn you. In emotional abuse, there is no physical violence, but the child is deprived of many emotions and starved. For example, they can be emotionally threatened by saying I don't love you. Or she may be emotionally abused by the threat that her mother may be harmed. Emotional neglect is one of the most common forms of violence. In this, the child is left without love.” he said.

Love and trust are two important psychological foods

Noting that meeting the emotional needs of the child is as important as meeting the physical needs in the development of the child, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “If you do not give enough food, drink, and the food he needs while raising the child, he will not get sick and develop, and sudden death will occur. In the same way, it should not be forgotten that the child has psychological food and food as well as physical food. There are two psychologically most important foods: one is love, the other is trust. If the child does not receive the nourishment of love and trust, cannot feel safe, and is in a loveless environment, that child grows up in traumas.” warned.

Noting that childhood traumas between the ages of 0 and 6 leave permanent marks on the brain, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The traumas experienced during this period disrupt the child's brain network. That child has a learning disability in the future. In the future, various developmental disorders occur in the child, and mental retardation occurs. Problems arise with some verbal, emotional and social skills.” he said.

If the child does not feel safe, it can lead to autism and schizophrenia

Emphasizing that the shock experiences experienced in the 0-6 age period are that the child feels unloved and insecure, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, “Even a loveless and insecure child is described in the literature as follows: The child cries all the time. This condition is called maternal deprivation syndrome. When someone approaches him, he stops and looks. If it's not her mother, she starts crying again. This is sometimes thought to be naughty. The child actually feels abandoned in the woods when there is no secure attachment. In severely stimulated children, the child feels in an unsafe environment. Fear, not trust, becomes the dominant emotion in the child. Because she doesn't feel safe in her life, she closes in and if this situation lasts for a long time, if it is continuous and continuous, it leads to childhood autism and childhood schizophrenia.” warned.

A violent parent sees their child as a slave…

Stating that children who are subjected to intense and constant violence are taken under state protection, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “It is healthier if these children grow up without a mother and father. They are taken from their families by a court decision and given to state protection. The mother cannot mother and protect these children. The father is violent. In such a case, it is quite natural and right for the state to take the child by saying that you cannot be a parent. There is a need for serious legal regulation in this regard in Turkey. Everyone needs to learn that children have rights too. A mother or father who shows violence against the child sees the child as a slave. Or he sees the child as a limb like an arm and a leg.”

Evaluating the increase in this type of violence in society in recent days, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “In such cases, group stress can often be mentioned. There are news that a person who has never used violence before is committing violence. Often such incidents happen out of anger. These people have major anger control disorder and impulse control disorder. He can't control his anger and later regrets it. Such conditions require treatment. The child is taken from them. Compulsory treatment and rehabilitation should be given to the parents by court decision.” he said.

Parents who use violence should be given probation

Noting that in our country, the infrastructure to carry out compulsory rehabilitation for such situations could not be established, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The courts take decisions on this issue, but they are helpless. The biggest point and the most important shortcoming that Turkey is currently missing is probation practices in the fight against domestic violence. The perpetrator of violence against the child should not be allowed to take the child before he or she is given compulsory treatment and education in rehabilitation centers and is reported as being able to become a mother and father again. The probation system, which is applied in substance addiction, should be applied here as well. If we do not do this, children may turn into crime machines in the future. Children who are victims of violence often become perpetrators of violence in the future.” warned.

Widespread violence linked to group stress

Noting that the prevalence of violence in society is related to group stress, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, “When does violence increase in a culture? It increases if there is group stress. If there is stress in the family, if there is violence in the family, if there is stress in the work environment. Arguments and violent crimes increase when there is group stress. If we consider the whole of Turkey, if there is group stress in the country, it may have an overflowing effect in the recent violence. It is necessary to analyze it well. Is there an increase in social stress? There are eyes. We see that these events increase statistically. In such a case, it is necessary to implement practices that will create trust in the society and reduce fear.” he said.

The approach that explains everything economically would be wrong…

Stating that looking to the future with hope, making people feel safe, and loving the job they do, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, “What increases civic loyalty? The first is to love his homeland, the second is to feel secure in his future, and the third is to be fed. An approach that explains everything economically would be wrong.”

There is a need for policies that provide confidence in the society…

Noting that the perspectives of young generations are different from those of adults, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The younger generation is the global generation and the generation that goes with global truths. The idealism of the homeland and nation, which we refer to as the national character for later generations, is secondary in the current generation. We cannot convince this young generation with patriotism idealism. We need to provide reasons for them to love the homeland and the future. In order for these policies to change again, policies that provide confidence in the society are needed.” said.

prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the most important solution than punishment in the fight against domestic violence is treatment, “Mom and dad should be given a treatment decision, which is more important than punishment. If consent is given, treatment should be given.” said.

Motherhood and fatherhood must be taught

Noting that the recent events in the family reveal that there is a crisis in this institution, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said:

“If such events come out of the family, it means there is a crisis in the family. It means there is a fire. Our Ministry of Family and Social Policies cannot find a solution for this fire. The child's growth in a safe environment is paramount. The child's greatest need is to be in a safe environment, and to have a family environment that loves and values ​​him. If you cannot create an environment that will provide secure attachment in a family environment, those people are not good parents. If the child comes home afraid or runs away from home, you are not a good parent. Parenthood should be taught. You are given a license to drive, but no license to be a parent. Such people, if they go through the marriage maturity process, produce other solutions, even if they are educated. Maslow has a saying: 'A man whose only tool is a hammer sees every problem as a nail.'”

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